Break Through

January 31, 2010...I have had the pleasure of hearing a wonderful sermon tonight. With saying that, I know I have alot of barriers in my life right now. I am totally ready for a break through. I WILL NOT allow my enemies to block my break through. Just as the pastor said, " it takes a whole lot of faith to overcome the barriers in our lives. Never spoken more true. Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
The sermon was also about fasting. I have never really understood the concept until Friday, when it was put into perspective. I will leave it at that. Isaiah 58:1-12 Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a trumpet, and shew my people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins.

58:2 Yet they seek me daily, and delight to know my ways, as a nation that did righteousness, and forsook not the ordinance of their God: they ask of me the ordinances of justice; they take delight in approaching to God.

58:3 Wherefore have we fasted, say they, and thou seest not? wherefore have we afflicted our soul, and thou takest no knowledge? Behold, in the day of your fast ye find pleasure, and exact all your labours.

58:4 Behold, ye fast for strife and debate, and to smite with the fist of wickedness: ye shall not fast as ye do this day, to make your voice to be heard on high.

58:5 Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day for a man to afflict his soul? is it to bow down his head as a bulrush, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? wilt thou call this a fast, and an acceptable day to the LORD?

58:6 Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?

58:7 Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?

58:8 Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy rereward.

58:9 Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity;

58:10 And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noon day:

58:11 And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

58:12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.

My Promises
I will face my addiction to cigarettes.
I will face my fears: remove the things in life that hold me back.
I will turn over my problems to God to lift them from me.
I will be a better example for my children.
I will allow my faith to lift my burdens form my shoulders.

Pulled in Two

January 30....Tonight I lost my way for a little while. But quickly found it. I am at the point in my life troubled. Which should I choose...Not for pleasure, but knowing the guidance that will prevail. Love is so hard sometimes. I know what my heart feels, I don't necessarily know why I feel this way...Maybe it is right maybe it isn't. But I know that You will show me the right way. I honestly know what is right. I just do not feel like I need to attempt it at this time. If it is to be it will be. I have faith in You to see that the right choice is made.

Eye Opening

January 21, 2010.....So much has happened on this day. I found out that I have to undergo surgery on February 9, 2010. I pray that You will give then doctors the strength, knowledge to use their tools(hands) to fix what has went wrong within me. I pray to You, that you hold me in Your Healing Hands to heal me after the surgery.
Also on this day, an old friend contacted me out of the blue. In all honesty I believe with all my heart, that You led them back into my life. To help me get the guidance back that I had lost and to get You completely back into my life. I am growing more and more everyday, with Your help and with the help of Our Friend.

For Months

I have struggled with many issues at hand, my health, my family, and others. I know you have led me where I needed to go and I know I haven't always followed. That is where I was wrong. Hopefully, I have now allowed You to light my path again. I will not have to find my way in the dark.

Thrown Into A Shock

June 2009.....This day was a shock for the whole family. My 24 year old cousin Jason was diagnosed with Leukemia. I prayed to You everyday: for You to place Your healing hands upon his body and take that dreadful poison out of him. I prayed merely to help fight the battle he had in front of him. On November 6, 2009, Jason received a Stem Cell transplant, that was given by his sister Ashlee. She was a perfect match to him. This transplant made Jason 100% leukemia free. Unfortunately we lost Jason On January 20, 2009 to Graph vs Host Disease. He had a horrible journey, before he met his Savior, I know he is with You. He allowed You to guide him through his journey. He was a fighter to the end. I dare not, to ask why? I know we should never ask You why. But sometimes it is so hard to understand. I also know that we here on earth are not supposed to understand all of Your work. Only You know Your Plan.

He Heals.

My grandmother(mama), had to undergo major surgery. She was 77 years old at the time, very weak and fragile. By God's Grace she is ok. Today she is at home with me and my children. I know my prayer were answered, that she pull through this. But I also know that her work here on earth isn't finished. By Your Grace, may she have a whole lot more work to do.

On My Knees, Praying

March 23, 2009....This is the day I will never ever forget. My dad collapsed at home due to medical problems. I arrived at his house and he was unconscious and not responding. I went off the deep end at that point. I hit my knees and began rocking back and forth praying to my God. After I finished praying, I went to my daddy and called out to him, "Daddy, can you hear me?" As I said this I was rubbing his arm and holding his hand. He looked at me, and that was a slight sigh of relief. I asked, Daddy are you hurting anywhere?" He mumbled in a weak voice, "no". Daddy had been sick for several weeks. He was in constant pain and could not bear to eat. But for that brief moment he was pain free. This was Gods way of allowing Daddy to have some last pain free hours. Daddy passed the next day due to internal bleeding. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I will tell you and I am so glad that God was in my life. If it had not been for HIM, I would have never been able to cope with the loss of my Daddy.
My daddy was the only person I could talk to about anything. He related to almost everything that I endured and could not figure out on my own. Still to this day I think of picking up the phone to call him, when something is bothering me. But I know that with God's help he answers me all the time. Cause I know God listens to me now and has always listened. I was just too blind to see that. I know that my daddy is with God. No doubt about it and I will see him again. God loves me...all the time.